Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

971 January 11, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 7:35 pm

More to come when I have the time, energy, and brain capacity, but for now …

Bandera 100K was fantastic!!! It didn’t necessarily go down the way I had planned (when does it ever?), but I had so much fun and finished right when I hoped to … 16 hours and 11 minutes! :-)

Sooo long and sooo hard … and OMG I hurt in places I didn’t even know I could hurt.

But worth every minute … all 971 of them. :-)



UPDATE … The epic race report is done! If you are so inclined, you can read it here. Four days later and most of the soreness is gone, but the Bandera brain fog has yet to lift.

 

Counting Down January 7, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 9:53 am

Less than 72 hours from the start of Bandera 100K … this time Saturday morning I will hopefully be arriving at Nachos aid station, having already conquered Big Nasty, Island in the Sky, and Ice Cream Hill.

Last night the inevitable taper tantrum finally hit. It was minor … just a few hours where I felt inexplicably grumpy and ill-at-ease. We had our monthly trail club meeting, and while I enjoyed it at first, after an hour I just hit the people wall and couldn’t wait to get out of there and back to the sanctity of my quiet house.

Thankfully, I woke up this morning in much better spirits. Let’s hope the tantrum has passed for good … although if no one shows up for tonight’s run and I have to skip my last run before the race (since I don’t run trail by myself in the dark), we could see a recurrence.

Even better, this morning was the first day since my accident that I woke up without any neck and back pain! Woohoooooo!!!  There’s still a good bit of tightness that needs to be worked out with regular stretching, work on the foam roller, doing my PT exercises, and letting Dr. S. do the snap, crackle, pop on my spine … but I’m really hoping that the pain is gone for good and that this bodes well for the race.

I’ve officially reached the point where it’s all I can think about.

If you have the time and inclination, please send me your prayers, thoughts, and good vibes on Saturday! With a little luck and adherence to my race plan, I hope to be done by midnight. So while you’re going about your Saturday routine … I will be out there running, climbing, and just trying to keep moving until I’m done.

UPDATE: I am happy to report that 5 people showed up for last night’s run, so there has been no taper tantrum resurgence! I am also very excited that I woke up yet again today with no neck and back pain! And just to put a little icing on my cupcake of happiness, the forecast for Bandera this weekend is 40’s and 50’s during the day on Saturday, getting into the upper 20’s Saturday night (hopefully I will be finished long before it gets quite that cold) and they are no longer calling for rain. The only thing that would make it better is if the skies are clear enough Saturday night to really enjoy the full moon! Owooooooooh!!!

 

Merry New Year! January 1, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 8:13 pm

Yes, I know it’s Happy New Year, but this is what I always think of …



Hope 2009 brings you all could ever dream of and more! :-)

 

In Your Face December 17, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 9:53 pm

For those of you reading this who don’t already know, the last couple days have been pretty exciting … and not in a good way.

The short version … I started a long one but decided it was just TMI … is that I fainted early Tuesday morning and my face broke my fall.

I ended up in the emergency room, where they stitched me up … cuts and bruises and big fat lip, but my nose doesn’t seem to be broken and all my teeth are fine (and you have no idea how grateful I am for that). But since they didn’t know why I fainted, they decided to admit me for overnight observation and to run all sorts of tests on my heart – which other than just a freak thing was the most likely reason I passed out.

I’ve never been admitted to the hospital before … but the whole incident had me kind of scared, and I figured with the strain I put on my body with all the ultrarunning, it would be a good idea to make sure my heart was up to the task. So I spent all day yesterday laying in a hospital bed … chatting on the phone with friends and family, answering e-mails and text messages, and entertaining visitors. I am truly blessed to have so many wonderful people who care about what happens to me.

Every once in a while I’d have blood drawn, or an EKG … they also did a CT Scan, chest and back X-rays (my back and neck are kind of sore from the fall), and an Echocardiogram (basically an ultrasound of my heart).

This morning I woke up and felt tired and sore, but well enough that I was really ready to go home … which of course is when the waiting began. Other than a 6 a.m. EKG, I just waited and waited and waited for a doctor to come see me – to give me some news about my tests and hopefully release me. Finally, the doctor came by … at 12:30 in the afternoon.

The good news?

My heart is absolutely fine … so Bandera 100K is definitely still on the race calendar. The whole fainting was just some weird fluke thing and isn’t likely to happen again (there is actually a term for it – Vasovagal syncope). Once they gave me the clean bill of health, I was home within a couple hours, where I am now happily ensconced recovering on the couch.

The bad news … other than my poor beat up face? (it’s really not that bad, but I’m not posting a picture)

This is what happens when I go stir crazy in the hospital …

hospital-misbehaving



This is the patient information board outside each hospital room. Thankfully the cardiac nurses have a great sense of humor … they even left it up there all day.

I love my friend Leah’s suggestion … that I just tell people I had a nose job and my lips done as a Christmas present to myself. ;-)

 

Brrr Rabbit!* December 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 5:38 pm

We had a cold front come through on Tuesday night, one with ACTUAL PRECIPITATION!!! I’d almost forgotten what that looks like. Usually we just get hurricane force winds and then it’s cold for a day before going back to the usual 110 degrees.

Anyway, I woke up Wednesday morning and saw this …

coco-in-the-snow

Yes, that is REAL LIVE SNOW on my car!

I know, for any of you living outside of Texas, this is completely pitiful. But for me, it’s about as close to Winter Wonderland as I’m going to get. :-6





* Yes, this incredibly goofy phrase (a bizarre play-on-words from Song of the South) is one my friend Erin came up with when we were really little kids … and we continued to use it for all the years of our friendship. It’s so ingrained (and fun to say – go on, try it) that I still use it all the time.

 

Missing the ‘Ville December 4, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 4:15 pm

I love living in Austin … so much so that these days it’s hard to get me to leave for very long. :-)

But there are definitely things I miss about Virginia, and Charlottesville especially. It’s hard to think of anyplace more beautiful than the University of Virginia, and I have so many happy memories of all the years I spent there that the entire place is just imbued with special meaning to me.

So when I read that tonight is the annual Lighting of the Lawn .. well, I just can’t help but be homesick. The Lighting of the Lawn is a big event, with students and faculty all swarming the Lawn for the ceremony, bundled up and drinking cider, hot chocolate and other assorted warming beverages. ;-)

How could you not miss this? …

lighting-of-the-lawn

(There used to be a series of great shots of the Lawn all lit up in the snow, but they’re no longer available on the web that I can find.)

 

Not So Sweet Meat December 4, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 12:30 pm

Did you know that U.N. expects worldwide consumption of beef and pork to double between 2000 and 2050? Do you have any idea what the environmental impact of all that meat-eating will be? Did you know that livestock currently generate 18 percent of greenhouse gas emissions?

There’s an article in today’s New York Times about this very topic, and some of the ideas to mitigate the emissions resulting from this increase in meat production. I love the idea they’re trying in The Netherlands … capturing the methane and using it to generate electricity for the local power grid.

Of course, one idea they mention is very simple … eat less meat. You don’t even have to give it up entirely … just pay more attention to where your meat comes from and how it gets to your plate. This is one of the main reasons I gave up meat back in June. It’s an easy and healthy way to have a positive impact on the planet. I may be just one person, but in the end that’s what it takes … one person at a time, doing what they can do.

 

Prop 8 – The Musical December 3, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 3:56 pm

I admit it … I am completely in favor of legalizing gay marriage. I don’t often get political on this blog, but I have to say that I was utterly disappointed, disillusioned, and disheartened (and probably lots of other dis-es as well) by the passage of Proposition 8. In an election that in so many other ways was a celebration of hope and diversity and change, to see fear and hate still exerting such a hold over people … well, it just makes me sad.

On a lighter note, a star-studded cast featuring Jack Black and many others have created “Prop 8 – The Musical.” It’s hilarious, but it also does a great job of skewering the folks who oppose gay marriage under the guise of religion. Check it out …

 

Shout-Out December 2, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 10:05 am

Today is December 2nd and that can mean only one thing …

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUSSELL!!!!!!!!

birthday001

 

Taking the Plunge … December 1, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 7:54 am

Biting the bullet …

Taking the bull by the horns …

Pick a metaphor, any metaphor. But I’ve gone and done it.

Saturday I went ahead and registered for the Bandera 100K, a 62 mile race on the rugged trails at Hill Country State Natural Area in Bandera, Texas.  I’ve been planning to run this race for a quite a while now, but after the problems with my breathing and my back and chest after Grand Teton, I’d been holding off actually making the commitment until I felt more certain that I was up to the task. I figured if I wasn’t progressing the way I’d hoped that I could always just try to hammer the 50K.

But my training is right on schedule – did a 30 miler all by myself on Friday – my breathing and back/chest are doing great, and my friend Ozzie has even agreed to pace me during the nighttime hours of my race (which hopefully won’t be more than about 17 miles). So I realized I have no reason to keep procrastinating, and I went ahead and registered. Joe – the race director – had told me I could request my race number, but I decided not to do that. After the Trail Twister race, where I had #38 for my birthday and which did not go very well for me, I figured a random race number might be better.

As random chance would have it, I have been assigned #62 … the exact number of miles I have to run. Pretty cool race karma, I hope.

And then this morning, I went and did something even more momentous and foolhardy … I entered my name in the lottery for admission to the Massanutten Mountain Trails 100 Mile Run.

I find out next week if I’m in, and if so, then I will be spending the weekend of May 16th running 100 miles back in the Virginia mountains where I grew up.

Which of course is why I want to run this race at all. It’s a tough one, but I can’t think of anything cooler than running my first 100 miler back on my home turf. There are all sorts of great trail races in Virginia, and yet I never ran trail until I moved to Texas. So achieving such a huge goal back in those mountains just has special meaning to me.

Of course, I may not get in at all … now it’s in the hands of fate.

Stay tuned …

 

My So-Called Sushi Dinner November 19, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 10:47 am

Austin is one of those towns that celebrities love because they feel like they can come here and walk around unrecognized … or at least walk around without people bothering them all the time. Of course, some celebrities decide that coming to Austin means they can embrace the hippie culture and forgo bathing and shaving and just generally abandon all sense of hygiene … but this story is not about those celebrities.

Last night I had dinner at Uchi with some friends. Uchi is a phenomenal sushi restaurant, and last night was my first visit. I can honestly say that all the hype about it being the best restaurant in Austin is pretty well deserved … I’m still dreaming about the spicy scallop rolls.

Anyway, we’re sitting at dinner when I realize that Claire Danes is at the table right behind us. Now, I’m pretty proud of myself for realizing it was her … I have this incredibly self-centered tendency to always assume that if someone looks familiar, it’s because I actually know them. So I’ll be sitting there racking my brain, trying to figure out if we went to college or law school or summer camp together and then finally someone will go, “no, that’s Brad Pitt”. You get the idea.

So I realize almost instantly that it’s Claire Danes – she looks just like herself in person. And we (my friends and I – not Claire) start joking about taking a picture with her and we’re getting all goofy when my friend Joel hits upon the best idea. He walks up to Claire, doesn’t actually acknowledge who she is, just hands her his iPhone, and asks her to take a picture of us.

claire-danes-pic

So there we are – Joel, me, José, and Meg … as photographed by Claire Danes. ;-)

 

Go Veg! November 12, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 11:37 am

I still have a post that’s percolating about food and the food industry, and what’s wrong with the FDA and some things like that … basically me on my vegetarian soapbox. But for now I just want to share one very real benefit of a healthy, vegetarian lifestyle.

I got a call from my doctor’s office today with the results of some blood work. Two years ago, my cholesterol was a respectable 190 … not bad, but closer to the danger zone than I would like. After a year of getting serious about trail running (but before I started ultrarunning), my cholesterol dropped 15 points to a much healthier 175 (and all the other sub-numbers were great as well).

This year, after becoming both an ultrarunner and a vegetarian … my cholesterol is now a fabulous 150!

That’s right … a 40 point drop in two years.  And of course, that’s in addition to eliminating my asthma (yeah I do believe I had some mild asthma even though the VCD was the larger breathing issue) and almost all of my allergies.

Now, I’m not saying y’all need to go right out and throw on your running shoes, do some yoga, start meditating, quit eating meat and dairy, get yourselves a neti pot, and start off every day with some green tea or yerba maté … but clearly, it doesn’t hurt. :-)

 

Still Breathing November 7, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 7:19 am

I don’t have time for much more than a quickie life update, but when weeks go by and all you keep seeing is a post about “chicken” salad … well that’s just sad.

The title of the post is pretty accurate, because much of life is still revolving around that these days … continuing the focus on breathing correctly all the time. My schedule’s been a little stressful lately, so I’ve actually had to focus on my breathing. Turns out I don’t breathe much when I’m stressed out. And it’s not that I hold my breath … I actually exhale and then don’t breathe in again. No wonder I get tired.  But I’m soooooo much better than I was.

The running is going great, when I have time for it. Did a 5 mile race out at Bastrop a couple weeks ago. I didn’t wear my watch but just pushed as hard as I could and went by how I felt … and finished several minutes ahead of my goal! I also had a great 20 mile night run pacing someone at a race in Bandera this past weekend (one of the best running experiences I have ever had), and another great run in the dark with friends this past Wednesday. No breathing issues at all. Other than that, I’ve been terrible for the last 2 weeks about doing anything else – no yoga, no PT, had to cancel all my massage and chiro appointments last week because my work schedule was too crazy. I’m going to sit down with my calendar this weekend and map out a schedule for the next couple weeks, because I just have to fit these things in if I’m ever going to feel better.

It’s no wonder my back and chest (and sometimes my abs as well) are still hurting. With the new breathing, I’m basically retraining all those muscles to work differently than I have in the past, so I have to be patient with the process and with the pain. Got a whole bunch more exercises in physical therapy this morning, and I’m going to go back on the Mobic for a while to see if that helps with the pain.

Speaking of pain, my massage therapist Bobby and my physical therapist Phil have both pointed out that I seem to have an extraordinarily high pain tolerance. I never really thought about it, but they seem pretty convinced. I think when you put your body through the kinds of things I do on a regular basis, you probably have to tolerate pain well. I’d guess this is true for most endurance runners.

Let’s see, what else is new and exciting in my world?

Work is just stressful right now, so we won’t talk about that.

While the running went well this past weekend, I did get some mild food poisoning, so that put a little bit of a damper on the weekend. I also really wanted to pace for closer to 40 or 50 miles, but had to stop at 20 because I couldn’t eat, and if you can’t eat, running far is not a great option.

I’m off to Huntsville, Texas tonight to volunteer at the Rocky Raccoon 25K and 50K races tomorrow. This is the same course as Hog’s Hunt, where I ran my 50K PR back in April.  And my friend Brian (Noelle’s hubby) is running his first ultra there tomorrow, so I am very excited to be there to celebrate that with him!

Hope things are well with all of you. I still have some posts percolating that I hope to write when I find time.

Ciao for now!

 

The Yumminess October 22, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 1:23 pm

I wrote a while back about my transition to a largely vegan diet.  I still eat fish, and occasionally eggs, but I have pretty much given up all meat and diary products. I’ve made the occasional exception, but this post is not about my entire dietary philosophy … although I’ve read some things lately that have inspired me to start drafting a post about food, so that may be forthcoming.

Anyway, as I’ve made this transition, I have started cooking more and have ventured out into some new territory in terms of food preparation, etc. … but overall, I haven’t been particularly adventurous. Until now.  The past couple weeks, I have had a major craving for the curry chicken salad I used to make. It’s based on a recipe passed down from a friend of my mom’s, and as with everything I cook, I have doctored it over the years into my own special concoction of total yumminess. Ask anyone I’ve ever made it for … it’s absolutely deeeeee-lish! But I don’t eat chicken anymore, which causes a bit of a problem when you want to eat chicken salad. :-(

So I made the leap … and I bought some tempeh. I eat plenty of soy products, but up to now only things that came already prepared … veggie burgers, tofu scramble wraps, things like that. I’ve never actually used soy in a recipe.  But I bit the bullet … and I made a vegan “chicken” salad using tempeh and Vegenaise in lieu of chicken and regular mayo (thankfully all the other ingredients are already vegan).

And OMG it is awesome!!! Just as good as the original carnivore version!

Sadly, I don’t think this is going to work for all my recipes … I’m pretty sure there’s no way to make a vegan version of Cheesy Ham and Bacon Casserole. ;-)

 

Ultraversary October 20, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 7:13 am

One day can change your whole life.

I’ve had lots of those days, but the one I’m referring to here occurred one year ago today … the day I ran my first ultra.  Hence the goofy title of this post, which I came up with on Saturday on the way home from my long run in Bastrop. See, this Saturday was the Palo Duro trail race, where last year I ran my first 50K … and where I officially became an ultrarunner.

I have to agree with Jolly, that it’s hard to believe it’s only been a year. In that time, I’ve completed three 50K’s, ran one great 50 miler, and attempted (and sort of finished) a second 50 miler. Of course, there have been countless other, smaller moments along the way that have gotten me to this point. And so many other blessings that have come into my life as a result of this journey. But Palo Duro will always be special to me, and not just because it was my first ultramarathon. It’s also where I met Henry … so you can understand if I’ve got a bit of a soft spot for this particular race. As I said, one day can change your whole life. :-)

This year of ultrarunning has also presented its challenges and disappointments … getting sick during Bandera 50K, spraining my ankle pacing at Rocky Raccoon, having to drop out at Mile 40 of Grand Teton when I just couldn’t breathe anymore. But those challenges just make the successful runs that much sweeter, and provide the mental toughness necessary to get through the hard times that inevitably crop up during even the best of runs. And even though Grand Teton was a disappointment at the time, it has turned out to be a huge blessing in disguise. If not for that experience, I might never have found out what was actually causing my breathing problems, might never have realized that I don’t have asthma at all … and I am absolutely certain after the past two weeks of running with no inhalers that there’s no asthma there at all. All the breathing problems I have are because of the VCD.

So while I was reflecting on Palo Duro, and all that has come since, I experienced another small achievement this weekend. I’ve been a little concerned about how much I could actually ramp up my training while trying to deal with my various health issues. But this weekend, I ran 20 miles on Saturday, and another 10 (on some serious hills) on Sunday … with no meds, and few breathing issues. It was actually more than I had hoped to accomplish, and gives me great hope that I can successfully train for my next big goal … the Bandera 100K this January.

So while we’re on the topic, I wanted to post this article that I found, called Inside The Endurance Athlete’s Mind, that tries to explain how (and why) we do what we do.

According to the article, “Many endurance athletes have common personality traits … These traits include persistence, endless curiosity, a lack of fear when it comes to failure and a sense of boldness.” I’d certainly like to think that describes me, but I think the article does leave out one critical ingredient … I just love to run on trails. From the very first time I tried trail running, it made me feel like a little kid running in the woods … wild and free and goofy and determined, all at the same time. And so doing that for hours on end just seems like a privilege to me, not a burden.

The article goes on – in an attached slideshow -to break down some of the common traits of endurance athletes …

They’re Looking for a Greater Challenge – Endurance athletes tend to be people who seek greater challenges than the average person and like the idea of constantly exploring their mental and physical limits.

I can’t argue with this one. I don’t know if it’s true in the rest of my life, but one of the reasons I love ultrarunning, and why I keep attempting longer and longer distances, is because I derive enormous satisfaction from pushing my own limits, from seeing just how much I’m capable of accomplishing and withstanding.

They Think in Baby Steps – Focusing on finding the energy to just get through the next step helps them turn seemingly impossible tasks into manageable micro-goals.

This is soooo true, for every ultrarunner I know. It’s not “Okay, now I’m going to run 50 miles.” I don’t know anyone who can truly get their head wrapped around something that big. Instead, it’s just getting up that next hill, it’s just finishing that one training run, it’s just getting to the next aid station in a race. This is one of those mindsets that thankfully has carried over into the rest of my life, helping me to be less overwhelmed by the insanity of my daily life.

They Don’t Compromise - Endurance athletes know that if they compromise when it comes to training, they will pay for it during their events. Athletes use that knowledge to fuel their sense of discipline and commitment when they need it.

It’s true … training doesn’t stop for anything. I can try to work around other things in my life, but in the end, training takes precedence. It’s one of the reasons that many of my friends are fellow runners … they understand and share my philosophy. They get why I almost never go out drinking on a Friday night … not when I have to get up at 5 a.m. for my Saturday long run. It’s why I did my long run even when my mom was in town for the weekend this summer. It’s why last year during ACL I got up at 4 a.m. to go out to Bastrop to get in my long run before Jolly and I headed down to the festival. Training doesn’t just magically happen. You have to work at it, and it has to be a priority.

They Compete Against Themselves – While winning an event is always nice, endurance athletes often compete against someone more important than their peers: themselves. Many say the most memorable events are those in which something went wrong or they faced a major obstacle and still managed to cross the finish line.

Once again, I think they nailed it. I will probably never win a race, but that’s not the point. It’s about challenging myself, and reaching my own personal goals. And yes, some of the most memorable races are the ones where things fall apart – like Bandera last year, where I was recovering from a sinus infection, got sick to my stomach a couple hours into the race, and then got an entirely different infection in the middle of the race, and yet still managed to be the 12th place female finisher. Not the race I was hoping for, but very much a success in its own way.

They Embrace Failure – Unless you push yourself to the point of failure, you may never know how far you can go. Collapsing during a race, while never pleasant, can give athletes a chance to step back and analyze what went wrong and what they can improve on for next time.

I was all set to disagree with this one, until I read the explanation. But now I have to agree. Grand Teton was the best failure I ever had. As I already said earlier in this post and elsewhere, had it not been for that race – and the problems I endured there – I might never have found out why I actually couldn’t breathe. Each experience like that teaches me something else that I can use in my next race and moving forward with my training. It also teaches me to embrace my training … because a race is just one day, and anything can happen. So you can’t be too attached to any one race, or any one run. You have to try to enjoy and find meaning in the entire process.

They Find the Magic in Misery – While much of Western culture is geared toward pain avoidance, endurance athletes tend to be miserable when they’re too comfortable or there’s no struggle in life.

I have to respectfully disagree with this one. I cannot honestly say I enjoy misery. I think I would probably rephrase it to say that endurance athletes have an unusual tolerance for misery. There’s no magic in it … it’s more accepting that misery will come and go, choosing not to focus on it, knowing that it will pass, and taking a certain satisfaction in overcoming it.

They Find Ways to Finish – When endurance athletes enter an event, they make a commitment to complete it.

As I’ve often said, one of the things that makes me well suited to ultrarunning is that I hate quitting more than I hate pain. At Bandera, I kept going even though my body was clearly falling apart. At Grand Teton, I made the right decision and pulled myself from the race when it seemed too dangerous to continue … but I still went out the next morning to finish the last 10 miles of the race. Because even an unofficial finish is better than no finish at all. It may not have counted in the actual results (although it’s not listed as DNF), but it meant something to me that I didn’t quit, that I finished regardless of what it took or whether it counted.

So Happy Ultraversary to me!  I can’t wait to see what this next year brings … with a lot of training and more than a little luck, I hope to see the completion of both my first 100K and 100 Mile races. I also pray for continued improvements in my health … and of course, as is always the primary goal with my trail running, I hope to just keep having as much fun as I had this past year!

 

Letting Go October 14, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 7:10 am

Sorry for the recent lack of posts. I’ve bookmarked more articles and funny little items than I can count, but just can’t seem to find the time to actually write anything. Life lately has been an interesting challenge … things at work are ramping up to pretty high level, and while it’s all a result of this great momentum that we’ve been building, it’s also a major juggling act, as I try to keep up with all the various projects and activities and still find time to plan and strategize and all that good stuff.

And outside of that, my world has pretty much been revolving around addressing some various health issues and trying to get back into training at the same time. I’ve been going to speech therapy twice a week for my breathing disorder, getting allergy shots 2-3 times a week, seeing Dr. Sellers at least twice a week to try to work out all the tension in my chest and back, building back up to running at least three times a week (including reviving my back-to-back weekend runs), and doing weekly Bikram, Kundalini, and Deep Relaxation Yoga classes. It’s exhausting just writing all that down! ;-)

That’s not to say things are bad … It’s a struggle, but a really positive one. The speech therapy for my VCD (Vocal Cord Dysfunction) is progressing rapidly. It’s actually going so quickly I’m having a hard time now fitting in all my exercises, but I try to remind myself that it’s an ongoing process (that will continue long after I’m done with the actual therapy sessions). And it’s all worth it … to find out that I don’t have asthma at all … to be able to go off all those medications I’ve been taking for years … to be able to BREATHE! … all the time! :-)

And since the problems in my chest and back are at least partly caused by – and certainly have an impact on – my breathing issues, it makes sense to go ahead and address all that now too. Adding the yoga back in (especially trying the Kundalini) has made a HUGE difference in just a week. As of yesterday, everything in my back is moving, and my chest has separated and pulled away from my rib muscles (which sounds awful but trust me, it’s a good thing). There’s still a lot of stiffness in my neck and thoracic spine though, so starting Thursday, it’s back to physical therapy with Phil. I really don’t mind. He made such a difference with my ankle … if he can do the same thing for my back, I can’t imagine how much better I’ll feel.

The only downside to all this release of tension in my back is the emotional release that has come with it. Ultimately, it’s a really positive development, but it can be hard to deal with in the moment. It has become quite apparent that the thoracic section of my back is where I store things like sadness, anxiety, anger, all those “negative” emotions (I use the quotes because I believe all of our emotions are necessary and important, and therefore none of them are inherently bad). And as the tension releases, those feelings start coming out as well. It’s disconcerting to find myself on the verge of tears, or ready to pop someone, or inexplicably anxious … and to have no current reason to feel that way. Thankfully, I know what’s going on, and that makes it much easier to just let those emotions flow through me and then let them go. It’s important not to try to push them away … that’s how they ended up stored in my back muscles in the first place. Last week I had a few rough days as the bulk of the tension was released, but since then the waves have gotten smaller and easier to deal with.

The Deep Relaxation has helped with that as well. It’s a form of yoga called Yoga Nidra, and it’s basically a form of meditation. There’s both a healing and an emotional component to it, and it’s not uncommon to have all sorts of weird emotions pop up during a meditation … Yoga Nidra has taught me to detach from those emotions but in a healthy way, to be still with them and let myself feel them but knowing it’s safe to do so, sort of viewing them from the outside at the same time, and then release them. And so when I’ve had all these weird and random emotions come out as my back has opened up, I’ve mostly been able to deal with them in exactly that way. And it feels great.

As with endurance running, all these health issues have forced me to adjust my expectations, and to continue to explore that balance between pushing my own limits while at the same time trying to listen to my body and be gentle and patient with it. Everything that I’m working on right now … the breathing, the physical therapy, the meditation and yoga, the running … has been teaching me a very important lesson. That sometimes the best way to move forward isn’t to push harder … that sometimes pushing harder is only going to send you backwards. Sometimes the only way to move forward is to just let go and ride the wave as far as it will take you.

 

ACL 2008 Roundup September 30, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 6:49 pm

Well, another Austin City Limits music festival has come and gone, and I think this was the best one yet! Jolly came in Thursday night, and we hung with Henry and Grady pretty much the entire weekend. Henry moved to south Austin in August, so it’s an easy walk from his house to Zilker Park … made the whole transportation issue really easy. Jolly and I got in a trail run, two visits to Omelettry, the requisite trip to Chuy’s … and oh yeah, a LOT of live music! 21 bands in all, and that doesn’t even count the ones we heard but didn’t see.  Here’s the recap …

Day 1 – The Marathon of 9 bands

Vampire Weekend … in Henry’s words, “better than they sound”

Jakob Dylan and the Gold Mountain Rebels … so much better than I ever expected! While Jakob has his own sound, I was surprised by how much his voice sounded like his father’s.

Freddy Jones Band … I only know one song by them, but they played it during the few songs we caught.

Patty Griffin … a local legend. I like her music, but half a set was enough.

M. Ward … sounded better than he did when I previewed his songs on iTunes. I think he’s a great songwriter, but I kind of wish someone else was singing his songs. I think I would have enjoyed She and Him (his project with Zooey Deschanel, who can sing) better.

Jenny Lewis … the highlight of the day, and the only band I even bothered to photograph on Friday.

David Byrne … this was a production complete with choreographed dancers, and I was glad he played some Talking Heads. He’s a really compelling performer … it would be hard not to have fun at his shows.

The Swell Season … the couple from the movie Once and their band. A little low key, but enjoyable. And they kept a great sense of humor when there were technical difficulties like sticking piano keys.

Alejandro Escovedo … always fun to watch!  Caught the last third of his set, but he played a Stooges cover and Castanets, so what’s not to love?

Day 2 -Taking it a little easier, but still saw 6 bands

Old 97’s … The last time I saw them was summer of 2001 when I was studying for the Bar. They’re even better now.

Drive By Truckers … hands down, the best band of the day!

CSS … I really didn’t know what to expect from this Brazilian band. I had liked what I heard on iTunes, but in person, they were really only good for about half a set.

Robert Earl Keen … we left CSS and caught the last half of this set while we were relaxing and getting a spot for John Fogerty. Good stuff.

John Fogerty … this one was great! With a couple of exceptions, he played all the CCR hits. The crowd was rockin’ and this was a close second to Drive By Truckers for the day. Pardon the horrible lighting in this shot …

Robert Plant & Alison Krauss … this was the most anticipated show of the festival for me. Unfortunately, the Saturday night crowd was drunk and rowdy and really detracted from the music, which is pretty mellow. We actually left early. If I had the chance, I would love to see them in a venue by themselves … this was just the wrong atmosphere.

Day 3 – Got a later start and only saw 7 bands ;-)

Gillian Welch … only caught part of her set, but it was the part where Alison Krauss came out and joined her, so totally worth it!

Stars … I really like the few songs I have of theirs, but didn’t enjoy the set as much as I’d hoped.

Neko Case … a little too low key. I kept wishing The New Pornographers were with her.

Okkervil River … a local band. We caught them from our resting spot in the shade, and they were great.

The Raconteurs … best band of the day, toss-up with Jenny Lewis and Drive By Truckers for best band of the festival.

Most people come for Jack White …

But you really should check out the solo music of Brendan Benson. Sallie joined us for this set, and was disappointed to learn that Brendan was going for the 70’s Private Eye look …

Band of Horses … I was really excited to see this band, and they did not disappoint. Played all the songs I know … they are just a great band and I can’t wait to hear more from them.

Foo Fighters … We were kind of far back for this one, but had a blast and stayed until the last song was played at 10:15. I loved the beginning and the end … the middle got really self-indulgent with a really long drum solo and extended jams. But they played every song I wanted to hear and had great energy. An excellent way to close the festival.

Here are a few more shots from the weekend …

ACL is an exhilarating, exhausting experience … and three days is about all I can handle. But it’s one of my favorite weekends of the year, and one of the highlights of life in Austin.

 

With Apologies to the Midwesterners Out There September 18, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 9:19 am

This is so hilarious I just had to share it … it had me in tears this morning.

It’s a post called If Celebrities Were From the Midwest Here Is What They Would Look Like. I can’t decide which picture cracks me up more … Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jennifer Aniston, Sharon Stone, the Beckhams … they’re all hysterical. You have to just check ‘em out for yourself.

 

Protected: To Your Health September 17, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 9:00 pm

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Why I Do What I Do September 17, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — marciainger @ 10:25 am

You might think from the title that this is going to be a post about running … but you’d be wrong. In fact, this is the one of the very rare posts about my job.

One of the reasons I picked up my entire life and moved to Austin to come work at TACC was the chance to contribute to an organization that has the very real possibility of changing the world and making it a better place.  And I still get excited every day about the amazing things we’re accomplishing. My contribution to this effort is minor, in the sense that I’m not a scientist or technologist, and I’m not actually building or running advanced computing systems. Of course, it takes good relationships and plenty of funding to make all these accomplishments possible, and that’s where I come in.

A lot of my family and friends probably have very little sense of exactly what it is we do here at TACC, so I wanted to share this article (it’s not long, so go ahead, read the darn thing!), that gives a very real picture of exactly why advanced computing, and TACC especially, is so important.

All of you are by now familiar with the force of nature that was Hurricane Ike.  The Galveston and Houston areas will be feeling the consequences of this storm for months, and probably more like years, to come.

What you may not know is that all of those NOAA hurricane models that are constantly running to predict the path and severity of the storm … those models (for both Ike and Gustav before it) were able to conduct real-time forecasting using our Ranger supercomputer, which sits right down the hall from me as I write this.

For those who don’t know, Ranger is the 4th largest computing system in the world, and the most powerful system for open science research (meaning the other three are closed systems that do exclusive work for agencies like DOE, DOD, etc). And to give you some idea of the scale of this project, running these storm models together required the use of as much as 2/3 of Ranger’s full capacity … that’s 2/3 of a system which is already orders of magnitude larger than most other systems out there.

What this basically means is that TACC’s system is making this kind of forecasting possible for the first time.  And when you’re talking about natural disasters, that’s not a small thing.

I just wanted to share all this, because it’s exactly this sort of research that makes me so passionate about what we do here. Working in higher ed development, there are lots of opportunities out there … there are far more development positions out there than there are qualified people to fill them. But it’s not often that you really get a chance to be a part of something this big, with this much potential for change.

It’s exciting, it’s exhausting, and in truth I wouldn’t have it any other way.